As Of Late....

I've been having a hard time in all aspects of my life.  I've been losing little parts of me and have unsuccessfully been hunting for the pieces that i miss.  I used to draw, write, create ALL the time. There was never a waking moment that I was not creating something, or planning something to create.  I was happy, I was glowing, I was overflowing with MY talent.

Now, its almost as if my talent has dried up, like I'm creatively sterile.  And this thought scares the living daylights out of me.  I've never wanted to just Exist.  I wanted to live, explore, conquer, fail, retry, etc.  My younger, hopeful, creative self had such dreams and aspirations for me.  & I honestly have no clue where I lost myself.

Now, my days are full of me just trying to get through the day, hoping to have a free moment to create something but it never happening because I don't want it to take away from the thing that I need to do.  I've let responsibilities to life and 'whats expected' drown out the things that make me happy.

But I'm unsure of how to change this.  I don't know where to begin, what to do, where to go, nothing.  & I'm scared that if I don't get myself back on track, things are going to take a dark turn for my soul...


 There is so much i need to get off my chest, and i don't know where to start...  Maybe I will force myself to sit down tonight at dinner and finally start gathering my thoughts.  Stop hiding from them...