It won't shut off,
vivid memories of regret & betrayal.
Self destruct mode on,
Abort sequence never shared.
A sad cruel joke uttered behind bloodied backs.
Denial & wishful thinking,
the cyanide of a naive soldier.
Immunity grants a second chance too many.
Suicide is the only way to be free.
Slice the bondages with ones words,
and leap blindly.
I'm not entirely sure where this came from. I know im laying in bed at the moment, trying to sleep and yet my mind just will not shut off. I keep thinking about the same two things that keep overpowering all my sanity. I guess in a sense, this is a poem of myself being a soldier in a war of my depression. & suicide isn't meant as literal for me to do, but is meant that i need to sacrifice myself in order to be free of whats bothering me. ugh, i know what i mean and yet i cant get the words to work with me... *sigh* If i cannot think properly, cannot word properly... then it is surely time for bed for me. sleep well... as i hope my dreams are much better then last nights.
2 comments:
I hope you feel better. I totally know what you mean when you feel worthless and a burden and all that, and those feelings are so self-destructive. Remember that this is only for a time, and life is about WAY more than money, or your job, or being the best, or doing what you're "supposed to do." I hope you can talk to a counselor. I love going to mine; she has been very helpful with showing me my vicious cycles and how to combat those triggers that make you feel like crap.
Beautiful post. Just that you can write such beautiful pieces, I know you are amazing and you'll do amazing things.
Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)
Post a Comment