ugh...

We leave for our trip on wednesday, and while i'm excited, I'm also super stressed because of everything i have to do. Have to do returns, pack, get critters ready to be taken over to the boarding place, get bambs ready, do laundry, clean a little, etc... so friggin damn much to do. and i have court tomorrow, so i'm kinda worried how thats going to go. lol

so, basically, i'm hoping this is a good week and i get things situated and am able to relax soon. i really do.

ugh! wish me luck!

Xhausted, stressed & unsure. :(

drowning...

I feel so lost, so hopeless and like I’m drowning.  I’ve done shitty this school semester. But a lot of things came up that really screwed me up. Big time.  A trip I didn’t even really want to take.  Coming back and working 10 hour days almost because yolz wasn’t here and my “help” were no help at all.  Its just shit, shit, shit.  So I’m struggling to try and catch up in what few classes I’m still remaining in.  its just not right. I wish I didn’t have to take classes anymore. I wish I could just work full time.  That is, sadly, what I’d really like right now. Just to work.  Ah, how thatd be nice… and how nice itd be  to be able to get ahead on my damn bills.  All my money disappears somewhere and I just don’t know where. So many things I need/want.  And yet I cant get any of it. Driving me nucking futs!!  *sigh* it feels neverending.

I wonder how I will be up at NAU, ya know? Wonder if I’ll be able to hack it.  I hope I can. I really want to be up there. But I just don’t know anymore…

 

tired of it...

Howd I know no one would come? Theyd all cancel and w/lame excuses. And not only that, but they’ve known for days and wouldn’t tell me. What the hell? Took me to text them to say what the hell.

 

I’m getting sick and tired of people doing this to me.  Tired of giving and getting nothing. But that will never change. I’m just too nice. I’ll always give in.  Well, always on certain things. Lol.. I’m not stupid, just easily hurt and duped.

 

*sigh*

 

(more written in a few)

The test of Time is a repeat

I sit here and try to figure out if what I'm aiming for in life is going to work out for me.  Try to figure out if I’m setting myself in the right direction. And that’s when I listen to my heart.  It beats the truth for me, beats my life out one solitary beat at a time.

 

(working, will finish later)