I sit here & wonder:
Why am I so fearful?
Why can't let myself give in?
Why can't I figure out what exactly it is I want & need?
There are just so many things going on in my head, in my heart. I'm confused & lonely. I'm accustomed to being alone, & yet, i'm aching & longing for someone. I have an unlimited supply of love within me, & no outlets. *sigh*
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Ive always been someone overly empathetic. Crying, feeling, hurting, etc when its other peoples problems. Idk what to do because spmetimes, it actually hinders me from living. Oh, the irony!
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Got to do egg hunt with the Nutter Butter!!! He was so cute & show offy!! Haha. He got spoiled by the easter bunny. & grandma & grandpa Hyde got him a new Cars backpak, which he used to put eggs. Lol
Now watching Marley & Me. LOL
Ciao!!!
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I'm sitting here @ Becky's, waiting to get my hair done. Just sorta aline with my thoughts. Kinda scary. Lol
I'm scared @ the moment of whats ahead with Flagstaff & NAU. What if i'm not ready. What if i fail miserably. I'm so scared. Especially because of how my parents are. It's so stressful. I need to do this for myself, but they make me feel like its happening more for them.
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On way to laser hair removal w/mum & im soo friggin naseus its ridiculous!! But its hr drivin too. Ugh. & we've already argued bcuz i splurged on myself & got this itouch. Whatever.
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On way to laser hair removal w/mum & im soo friggin naseus its ridiculous!! But its hr drivin too. Ugh. & we've already argued bcuz i splurged on myself & got this itouch. Whatever.
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Im sick so damn much & it annoys the hell out of me. I would love for once to not be tired, to not have a headache, to not be dizzy or lightheaded or have balance issues. Id love to not have stomach issues w/ everything i eat, & same with heartburn.
Ive been trying 2 workout & i do good, but something always happens to cancel the good. & i have such issues with eating. Im always damn hungry, but i dont have time, patience, $ or ingredients to be making what i should be eating. I just feel like im stuck in a damn vicious cycle.
& then my apartment is another story. I het nowhere w/this fucking place. No wonder im so stressed & depressed all the time. Grrr!!! & when i ask for some fucking help, when im so damn desperate that im sucking up my pride & asking for a hand, NO ONE helps. They say they will but never do.
Just so fucking tired of it all. I really am.
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