Untitled 4-30-12

So, i was looking up videos for different hairstyles for me to try this week, and i happened across a girl who does tutorials that is qwerky and awesome.  But in one of her tutorials she was playing a song that inspired a poem out of me.  now, what i wrote did go with the beat of the song, so i'm going to post the song for you to watch/listen.  that way you can get the beat of how my poem is read in my head. lol 

I think i'm newly addicted to her... :)

You say I dream too big,
That i'm setting myself up for failure.
Don't want to hear my plans,
because you already know their end.
You laugh, tsk & belittle,
thinking you are doing me a favor,
& yet you get angry when i just stare and smile.

Well go ahead and burst my bubble,
poke these balloons with your doubt,
I'll just laugh and thank you later,
as my dreams, my plans, my future
comes bursting out

No confines to hold them any longer,
No doubt stunting their growth.
Your words that tried to draw my blood,
are the very words that set me free,
No longer under your rule,
No longer victim to your scrutiny.

Well go ahead and burst my bubble,
poke these balloons with your doubt,
I'll just laugh and thank you later
as my dreams, my plans, my future
comes bursting out

I know your dreams were taken from you,
and so you've tried to take back your power.
But my biggest wish that i'll dare utter,
is that you'll close your mind,
open your heart,  and fly with me.
Bring that smile back for your world to grow.

So go ahead and fill your bubble,
patch your balloons and lose your doubt.
We will laugh and you can thank me later
when your hope takes flight.







Again, not the greatest of poems.  sometimes i wanted to rhyme, sometimes i didn't feel like it.  But the song inspired the chorus which actually started out as a picture that i'm going to start working on.  For not having my muse visit me in a LONG while, This one makes me feel happy.  Able to get a little bit off my chest about how some important people in my life are about all my 'pipe' dreams.  Just have to stay steadfast and true and know that i'm the only one who can bring me down.  also, need to work harder at bringing my muse back home and keeping her with me...


sweet dreams world.  feels good to get something out on paper (literally & virtually)....

New Beginnings

Things are about to change, and I'm going to make sure they are changed for the better.  I'm currently packing up my belongings, my life, into 3 categories. Keep to go into the new house, storage, and "find-someone-else-who-can-appreciate-what-i-didnt".  I hate packing for a variety of reasons. In the past couple of years, i've done it way too much for my liking, and i've never fully unpacked. EVER!!

Well, now i want things to be different. I want to be able to have time to blog, do artwork, write, workout, travel, etc.  I would like to focus on the things i enjoy and that would make me the person i would like to be, rather then constantly cleaning or trying to situate things.  I've allowed myself to live in an insane clutter and i don't want it to happen anymore.  Its time that i make a difference.  Maybe if i finally live how i've been wanting, i'll be able to focus on schoolwork and have a life.

But the point of this New Beginnings blog is to document the things I would like to change and hopefully how i can do them. :)

Eat Healthy
Exercise Semi-Daily
Save $
Take care of myself and my critters properly and efficiently
Work on my jewelry for friends and to sell
Write (poems, journals, finish my novel)
Work on my artwork and my style
Follow the pinup/vintage fashion that i've been wanting to for years
Finish my Anthropology & psychology degree (& consider furthering said degrees)
Go to school for makeup/costume/set design
Learn to REALLY cook (not out of boxes or cans)
Go out and meet some new friends
Go out and meet SOMEONE
Volunteer
Travel to see family

& I know that there is soooooo much more!!  Hopefully i'll be able to remember them and add them later.  I just know that my 28 years on this planet, i have hardly lived.  Sure, i've lived and traveled with my parents, but I haven't lived myself.  I haven't done what i've said i wanted to do or gone where i've said i wanted to go. 

For example. I wanted to make Irealand happen this year.  Well, it won't be now because of money issues. a nd because i'm having to move in with my parents because of money issues.  I'm hoping ot be staying with them for about 5 years to save up money and get bills paid off and everything.  So hopefully, my first year living with them, i can pay off all debt that i ahve, fix my credit and then be able to save up and go to ireland!!  That is my new goal.

I feel like an idiot for saying i was making Ireland happen this year, but it not happening is completely out of my control.  I know it could be done, but there would be alot of sacrificing of bills, and those need paid off.  I need to fix my past mistakes before i can FULLY enjoy my life and have fun. 

*sigh*.... i guess i must finish this for now.  I have a house to pack and sort thru. 'woo'...

its funny when you give yourself a moment to stop and think about it....

You go insane when you lock yourself into the same ole' routine.  All you want to do is break free from it, yet you are scared of breaking said routine.  Why is it that when you want to change yourself, better yourself... That's when its hardest to break old habits.  But its the easiest thing in the world to do what is absolutely and completely wrong for you...  they say that it takes doing something 21 times consecutively  for it to become a habit, but it takes only once to break that habit. 

And how does one grow will power?  that is proving to be my greatest battle yet.  Learning to tell myself no and doing what needs done but i don't want to do.  I know the changes i need to make and yet its so easy to keep myself from following through.


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I need to blog more.  Need to write poetry, short stories, my thoughts... i let the moods pass by and I'm still unsure why.  But i know i have alot on my mind that i can twist and mold into something absolutely amazing.  I just have to allow myself the time to do it... *sigh*  Behind on it all when that's the only way to keep me sane.  I thought that doing the monthly challenges was going to be helpful, but so far it hasn't been.  just became another something that i procrastinate on or forget about.  I'm hoping that its just my current living conditions that's sapping my energy and my muse from me.

Oh lord, how i hope that's all it is.  That I'm not loosing the flair that i once held so tightly in my soul.  talent can't disappear just like that for no reason can it?  I need some true inspiration, so push, some gumption.  I need to stop falling in old ways that are deadly for me....  I need to surround myself with creativity and positive influences.  gather myself and figure out what i want, who i am and who i would like to become.  reconfigure my dreams so that i have something to work towards, so I'll stop existing.  I need to conquer something, explore something, LIVE!!

I... NEED.... To... Be... FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!